The Dark Lord Actually Makes Some Pretty Compelling Arguments for Casting the Realm Into Eternal Shadow

Ye Opinion on the Dark Lord’s Manifesto

An Op-Ed by Farbert Turnipmonger

As a lowly peasant, I used to think I had a clear picture of what Good and Evil meant. Evil was that which marched forward on a merciless warpath, pillaging, burning, and leaving a trail of carnage and hopelessness in its wake. Good was that which tried to stop it.

But then I read the Dark Lord’s manifesto and it totally opened up my mind. It turns out Good and Evil are not so black and white.

The Dark Lord hath taken a lot of flak o’er the years for generally being a horrific tyrant who wants to cast the Realm into Eternal Shadow. But if one reads His Letter on Casting the Realm Into Eternal Shadow and Blotting Out the Sun, I think one will find He makes some pretty compelling arguments for His case.

When one reads the Dark Lord’s plan with an open mind, one will truly see that what He is trying to do is for the best:

• A perfectly ordered society where all but the Dark Lord’s most loyal servants are dead or enslaved in the quarry? Goodbye war and strife.

• The sky blotted out by the smoke of a million burning cities? Climate crisis solved.

• Spilling the blood of our virgins in a ritual sacrifice to resurrect the nigh-invincible Army of the Dead? I think that reflects how we all feel.

I used to be like, “I don’t want to become a nameless slave minion who serves the whims of a bloodthirsty despot and ultimately dies pointlessly fighting in His name.” But after reading His manifesto, I’ve realized I was wrong.

Don’t trust the mainstream narrative that hath been pushed out by town criers — who, by the way, are in the pockets of The King. Supporting the Dark Lord is not about fostering hate and violence. ‘Tis about creating a Netherworld of peace and unity, where by coincidence we all just happen to be His slaves. Go out and read the letter for thineself and see if the Dark Lord’s lucid prose captivates thy mind the way it did mine. (Full disclosure: the letter is cursed with a dark magick that will enrapture thee in a temporary pro-Dark Lord trance, but that’s just part of the user experience).

Look, the Realm is polarized enough as it is. Don’t let The King and his town criers pull us apart any further. Under the Dark Lord there will be no polarization or politickal bickering, because everyone who doesn’t agree with Him will be dead. The Dark Lord wants to push us together,¹ not pull us apart. (Well, technically some of His execution methods involve physically pulling bodies limb from limb; but He does not intend to pull us apart in the figurative sense).

Since reading the Dark Lord’s call to action, I will never look at Good and Evil the same. I will never look at the battalion of orcs that is currently torching my village and stabbing my grandmother the same. Every subject in the Realm should read the Dark Lord’s manifesto and decide for themself what is right and wrong.

And choose wisely, for when the Dark Lord’s reign is brought to fruition, wrong choices shall be punished mercilessly.

1. Most of the pushing together will be in densely-packed military formations and/or warships.