PTO Win! The Lord Now Offers 3 Days of Plague Tyme Off
Thou art welcome
Goode news for peasants who have come down with the plague and need some tyme off to recuperate/die: the lord of the fief is now offering all peasants three days of Plague Tyme Off.
“On this fief we care about the welfare of our filthy villeins valued employees,” spake Lord Ashway. “Our new PTO policy shall allow anyone with highly contagious boils all o’er their body the opportunity to rest, recover, and stay far, far away from people whose lives matter, like myself.”
The policy requires peasants to plan their PTO and seek management approval at least four months prior to becoming infected with the plague, to allow ample tyme to prepare for their absence and inevitable death.
“This is about flexibility. We encourage all vassals to use their hard-earned PTO whenever the plague strikes,” Lord Ashway spake. “Although, for compliance purposes, employees are prohibited from contracting the plague during planting season, harvest season, growing season, sheep shearing season, pannage season, war, and holidays.”
The change hath received resounding support from the rank-and-file, who have long advocated for a PTO policy that would let them die in peace.
“‘Tis great to have leadership that cares enough to let us die at home instead of whilst toiling in the fields,” spake local peasant Bertmer Groundscrape, relaxing in his hovel during his second day of PTO. “Management e’en offered to transport my body to the burn pit free of charge! Surely plague-infected peasants from throughout the land will come flocking to our fief to take advantage of this new benefit.”
The PTO policy ist part of a broader benefits package, which also includes promotion opportunities to Peasant First Class and a free kerchief for any womyn peasants who have to give birth during the work day.
“We know how hard it can be to mend a stone wall whilst actively in labour,” spake Lord Ashway. “Obviously, not mending the stone wall is out of the question. But we hope the kerchief will at least give thee a safe and comfortable place to catch the child when it falls out.”
Questions on the new Plague Tyme Off policy shouldst be directed to the Fleshsack Resources (FR) department, if and when thy plague boils subside.
Disclaimer: Plague Tyme Off doth not apply to thralls, court jesters, enemy prisoners of war, Welshmen, or womyn.
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😂 <- that's all I have to say!
@Jan, seriously, how do you come up with these😂? I prayeth you write a behind the scenes one of these days.