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PTO Win! The Lord Now Offers 3 Days of Plague Tyme Off

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PTO Win! The Lord Now Offers 3 Days of Plague Tyme Off

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Jan Lionsnest
Jul 18, 2023
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PTO Win! The Lord Now Offers 3 Days of Plague Tyme Off

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Enjoy it whilst it lasts. (Pieter Bruegel the Elder, Met Museum)

Goode news for peasants who have come down with the plague and need some tyme off to recuperate/die: the lord of the fief is now offering all peasants three days of Plague Tyme Off.

“On this fief we care about the welfare of our filthy villeins valued employees,” spake Lord Ashway. “Our new PTO policy shall allow anyone with highly contagious boils all o’er their body the opportunity to rest, recover, and stay far, far away from people whose lives matter, like myself.”

The policy requires peasants to plan their PTO and seek management approval at least four months prior to becoming infected with the plague, to allow ample tyme to prepare for their absence and inevitable death.

“This is about flexibility. We encourage all vassals to use their hard-earned PTO whenever the plague strikes,” Lord Ashway spake. “Although, for compliance purposes, employees are prohibited from contracting the plague during planting season, harvest season, growing season, sheep shearing season, pannage season, war, and holidays.”

The change hath received resounding support from the rank-and-file, who have long advocated for a PTO policy that would let them die in peace.

“‘Tis great to have leadership that cares enough to let us die at home instead of whilst toiling in the fields,” spake local peasant Bertmer Groundscrape, relaxing in his hovel during his second day of PTO. “Management e’en offered to transport my body to the burn pit free of charge! Surely plague-infected peasants from throughout the land will come flocking to our fief to take advantage of this new benefit.”

The PTO policy ist part of a broader benefits package, which also includes promotion opportunities to Peasant First Class and a free kerchief for any womyn peasants who have to give birth during the work day.

“We know how hard it can be to mend a stone wall whilst actively in labour,” spake Lord Ashway. “Obviously, not mending the stone wall is out of the question. But we hope the kerchief will at least give thee a safe and comfortable place to catch the child when it falls out.”

Questions on the new Plague Tyme Off policy shouldst be directed to the Fleshsack Resources (FR) department, if and when thy plague boils subside.

Disclaimer: Plague Tyme Off doth not apply to thralls, court jesters, enemy prisoners of war, Welshmen, or womyn.

In other news from the FR department:

Serf Passed Over for Promotion to Not a Serf

Jan Lionsnest
·
January 5, 2022
Serf Passed Over for Promotion to Not a Serf

As a new year and a season of hope for new beginnings didst arise, local serf Lulf Rakefield’s lord informed him that he was once again passed over for promotion to not a serf. “I really thought this wouldst be the year,” spake Rakefield. “Me wonders what I di…

Read full story

Quiet Quitting: A Blight on Thy Fief, or a Natural Side Effect of Cutting Thy Serfs’ Tongues Out?

Jan Lionsnest
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Jan 27
Quiet Quitting: A Blight on Thy Fief, or a Natural Side Effect of Cutting Thy Serfs’ Tongues Out?

A new trend hath taken hold on the Kingdom’s fiefs, and it hath raised the ire of many a liegelord. “Quiet quitting” is when thy serfs still show up to work before sunrise everyday and toil away at whatever degrading labour thou assigns to them, but they refuse to go above and beyo…

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Peasant Applies For Job As If Social Mobility Is Thing That Exists

Jan Lionsnest
·
September 15, 2021
Peasant Applies For Job As If Social Mobility Is Thing That Exists

What ho! Sources sayeth that a mere peasant by the name of Longris Burdocksonne hath applied for a new jobbe as if social mobility were an actual thing that exists. What a lumpheaded knave! If Burdocksonne kneweth anything he wouldst have known that he hath no option but to toil the fields for lyfe. For Fate hath assigned his ancestors as well as his prog…

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PTO Win! The Lord Now Offers 3 Days of Plague Tyme Off

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PTO Win! The Lord Now Offers 3 Days of Plague Tyme Off

www.yeoldetymenews.com
J.Q. Graziano
Writes Rediscovered Realms
Jul 18Liked by Jan Lionsnest

😂 <- that's all I have to say!

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2 replies by Jan Lionsnest and others
Anu Prabhala
Writes Imperfectly Perfect
Jul 19Liked by Jan Lionsnest

@Jan, seriously, how do you come up with these😂? I prayeth you write a behind the scenes one of these days.

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