‘Tis Not Fair That Fools Get Their Own Holiday But I, A Wiseman, Get Nothing

Jester's privilege hath gone too far

‘Tis tyme to institute All Wisemen’s Day. (Viktor Vasnetsov, Wikimedia Commons)

By Erwygge the Wise

Despite my great wisdom as one of the Kingdom’s most renowned and serious Wiseman, I enjoy a hearty jest as much as the next fellow. Indeed, I hath even been known to pull a prank or two on All Fools’ Day. (During my lectures, I once farcically attributed a quote about prudence to The Prophecies, when it was clearly taken from the treatises of Ildibad the Hermit, much to the cachinnation of all present!)

But whilst all the Realm gets ready to celebrate Fool culture on April the 1st, one cannot help but wonder: why do Fools get their own holiday, when Wisemen like me get naught?

Are learnéd intellectuals such as mineself not worthy of such an honour?

Doth centuries of Wisemen’s contributions to society amount to nothing?

I’ve spent many a tedious year pondering theorems and conjectures, and countless grueling hours devising astute stratagems, but apparently all of mine enlightened meditations are worth not even score and four hours to the rest of mankind. All of mine efforts in awing the ignorant rubes of society with my massive intellect are apparently meaningless to those who designate our holidays.

Yet, where would we be without men such as I to ponder and ruminate? I’d like to see a mere Fool ponder theorems even half as well as I.

I begrudge not the Fools for the honour that hath been bestowed upon them, this right to caper and jape prodigiously without fear of repercussion for an entire day. But theirs is not the only profession in the Kingdom deserving of such a privilege.

I think us Wisemen are also owed the distinction — a Wisemen’s Hist’ry Month or International Wisdom Day — wherein the cultural and historical contributions of noble philosophers and cultivated sages are celebrated by all the land. On this day, the Wisest Men in the Realm shall gather in the publick squares and endlessly spout information to impress one another with our superior knowledge.

Ah, yes. Now that sounds like fun. In my shrewd and discerning opinion, the peoples of the Realm would enjoy such a perspicacious spectacle far more than any flatulent gag.

And, of course, womyn won’t be invited.

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Further Reading

• Ye Opinion: Real Fools Don’t Celebrate April Fools’ Day. Real Fools Are Idiots All Year Round

• Jester Considers Trying New Routine Where He Doesn't Just Bounce Around Like a Fycking Idiot

• Addendum: Jester’s Privilege

• And, from The History of Court Fools, by John Doran:

“Why, pray, of late do Europe’s kings

No jester in their courts admit?

They’ve grown such stately solemn things;

To bear a joke, they think not fit.

But though each court a jester lacks,

To laugh at monarchs to their face,

All mankind do behind their backs,

Supply the honest jester’s place.”