Jester Considers Trying New Routine Where He Doesn't Just Bounce Around Like a Fycking Idiot

Next level jesting

In his tireless efforts to bring jocularity to the Royal Court, court jester Smerald Blokestench said he was considering trying out a new jesting routine wherein he didn’t just bounce around like a fycking idiot.

“As much as The King loves it when I prance to and fro making honking noises like a goddamn moron, I’m always trying to up my jesting game,” spake Blokestench. “And I’m not just saying that because The King will kill me if I don’t make Him laugh.”

The King’s tastes in jocularity are so refined that one never can tell whether He will laugh out loud or execute the performer in colde bloode. Blokestench ist particularly worried about the latter, for the “executing the jester” gag is always a fan favourite.

“Oh, beheading the jester? I love that one!” spake obsequious courtier Elis Courtierman. “And I’m not just saying that because The King will kill me if I don’t.”

Blokestench sayeth he wants to use his comedy not just to make The King laugh hard enough so that He doesn’t behead him, but also to cut deep into the heart of the moste pressing issues of the daye, like how great The King is and how it is such an honour to fawningly serve Him.

“Us jesters are basically the only people these dayes speaking truth to power,” he spake. “The truth being, of course, that His Majesty is amazing and the rest of us are mere worms who grovel at His Feet.”

Indeed, Blokestench may be farsighted in his stratagems. Jesting criticks say the key to great humour is making The King laugh enough that He doesn’t become unhinged and start shooting everyone with His crossbow in anger, but not so much that He starts randomly shooting His crossbow into the crowd in fits of guffaws.

“I’ve studied humour mine whole lyfe,” spake jesting critick Snid Hautsfa. “The defining feature of a successful jest is that The King doesn’t execute one or multiple people because of it, regardless of whether ‘tis a goode mood or bad mood execution.”

The jesting game is constantly evolving. Even tymeless japes like “self-inflicted bodily harm” and “throwing a fish around” no longer get the laughs they used to.

“‘Tis a delicate balance, and the jester’s lyfe – indeed the lives of all those present – is constantly at stake,” spake Hautsfa. “But The King’s tastes in humour are supurb. If He happens to kill a few bystanders with His crossbow, the fault is solely the jester’s for being unfunny.

“And I’m not just saying that because The King will kill me if I don’t.”