Just when thou thunk the holiday season couldn’t get any crazier, thou walks outside to the snowy village square to see this: the Christmas Man is blind drunk riding around on a goat and he doth not give a fyck! We spake correct. Ye Olde Christmas Patriarch hath been wassailing to and fro on his trusty magick yule goat Üdorlph for days. Plenty of ale and wassail ist present, but there be neither sleigh nor gift in sight.