Santa Will Not Give Thee Freedom For Christmas So Stop Asking
Sir Nikolaus “Santa” Claus hath declared that he will no longer be granting freedom to serfs for Christmas, so thou can stop asking him already.
Whilst ’tis clear from the multitude of letters censured by The Crowne that most of the Kingdom’s serfs desire nothing but an end to their involuntary servitude, ’tis economically and morally infeasible to grant any of them l’berty.
“Whilst I am dedicated to bringing gifts to all peoples of the Realm regardless of social class, the Kingdom dependeth on a steady stream of free labour to support its glorious feudal system,” sayeth Sir Claus. “Now, an extra bale of hay or a ten minute lunch break on Christmas Day beeth totally within reason. But we can’t just be giving away freedom to any olde serf or serfette. Just think what that would do to the economie!”
The means with which so many serfs hath acquired writing skills or the money to pay a scribe to writeth their letters to Santa doth remain a mistery yet to be solved. But rest assured, any subject caught educating a serf wilt be punish’d accordingly!
Merrieth Christmas and God saveth The King!
The post Santa Will Not Give Thee Freedom For Christmas So Stop Asking appeared first on Ye Olde Tyme News.