Parents of young apprentice Janek Bylba expressed regret this morn after he decided to apprentice as an artisan instead of as something useful like a hogslapper.
“We just wish he would go into a profitable trade that hath a bright future, like hogslapping or knockknobbling. Even a career as a Buttwipesman would be nice,” sayeth his mother Ædlina. “E’eryone knows an artisan apprenticeship ist worthless in the real world.”
Janek sayeth he ist merely “pursuing his passion” to one day become a renowned artisan, and that there be more to this lyfe than a stable income slapping hogs in the Royal Hogsties.
“If my dream is to make trinkets and be financially supported by my parents for the rest of my lyfe, then they should respect that,” sayeth Janek. “Don’t they want me to thrive creatively?”
Janek’s father Grikhory, a journeyman hogslapper, ist worried that his son ist squandering the opportunities available to him.
“When I was a lad, we went into exactly the same profession as our parents and didn’t complain,” he sayeth. “Sure, hogslapping ist not as fashionable or trendy as being an artisan, but ‘tis honest work.”
At ye presse tyme, Janek announced he would be taking a gap year prior to his apprenticeship to travel to “that new war everyone is talking about.”