It Happened Again: We Accidentally Crowned This Cat as King and Now He’s Waging a Civil War to Defend His Throne
Hate it when this happens
Subjects low and high hath gathered this morn to witness the coronation of a new king of the minor outlying kingdom of Scratchoria.1 The heralds sounded the royal fanfare, the knights assembled to pledge their allegiance, and the Scratchorian people were all abuzz with jubilation.
But mistakes were made. Once again, the Archchairsitter of the Crown has accidentally crowned a cat as king of Scratchoria, and now the cat-king is waging a bloody civil war to defend his throne.
So annoying when this happens!
The cat just kind of jumped on top of the actual king-to-be’s head at just the wrong moment, as cats are wont to do during coronation ceremonies. Now, technically, and in accordance with the laws of Scratchoria, he is the king, for he weareth the crown. Just look at him. Such hubris, with his tongue stuck out, taunting the rightful heir to the throne with how little he cares for legitimate royal succession. Or maybe he’s just licking himself.
And that wasn’t the only headware faux pas that transpired on this most unfortunate morn. Herein is a list of other things that were mistakenly placed upon people’s heads during the coronation.
Two yellow geese
A depressed sheep
A badger eating the depressed sheep (who, by the way, looks slightly happier now that he is being eaten)
A barfing swan
A barfing blue horse
Two dragon brothers whom refuse to talk to one another on account of their political differences, which is super awkward for the knight whose helmet they are stuck on
Satan with bunny ears
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All images fromme Scheibler'sches Wappenbuch (Scheibler’s Book of Arms)- BSB Cod.icon. 312 c.
This is really just a small principality, and a vassal of The King. But He lets them call it a kingdom so they can feel goode about themselves.