Is the Media Over-Sexualizing Womyn’s Jousting, or Do Womyn Just Look Really Hot in Plate Armour?

Nothing hotter than getting lanced in the face

Jul 30, 2023

The Womyn’s Jousting Kingdom Cuppe ist underway, and there hath been much excitement upon the lists. But ye olde media’s fixation on the more alluring aspects of the sport begs the question: Is the media over-sexualizing womyn’s jousting, or do womyn just look really hot in plate armour?

Obviously, the latter is an objective truth, and ‘tis mandatory to sexualize our joustettes at least a little bit for the sake of ad revenue.

But has the media gone too far in focusing on the provocative aspects of womyn’s jousting over the competition itself? Should these nymphs of the tilt be treated with the same solemn respect with which we treat male knights when they don pointy shoes and nut-hugging man tights at the post-tournament mummery?

“Given how shapely a she-jouster looks in a great helm and excessively large shoulder plates, I’d say we’re sexualizing womyn’s jousting the appropriate amount,” spake Royal Magistrate of Tournaments and Jousts Rundhar Horseswashing. “The hard lines of their cuirasses, the jangly metallic clunk of their tassets as they mount their steed, the way they clutch the lance in their gauntlets with a firm yet feminine death grip — these are but a few of the many attractions of the sport which harden one’s resolve to watch until the end.”

Inappropriate jeers from the crowd, such as “Show us thy breastplates!” and “Unclasp thy greaves so I might gaze with wonder upon thy perfect milk-white ankles!” have drawn the ire of many female athletes. But she-jousters are already paid less than their male counterparts, and Horseswashing sayeth ‘tis the least fans can do to show their support by gawking at them lasciviously.

“I suppose we could change the uniform regulations to let them wear something less overtly sexual than full body armour. Or we could pay them more,” he spake. “But I don’t see the fun in that.”

Fierce yet feminine, this angry feline jousts a male knight with her spinning distaff, as there is much spinning to get done and a lady doth not get a break just to play sports.

Hard to tell which participants in this melee are womyn, or honestly if any of them are. But still pretty steamy.

Images: 1 - Edward Henry Corbould, Victoria and Albert Museum; 2 - Arthurian Romances, Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library; 3 - Les vies des femmes célèbres, Wikimedia Commons; 4 - From the Pantheon, Wikimedia Commons

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