Ye Opinion: Assassinations Have Become Way Too Political

What ever happened to assassinating purely for the love of it?

Sep 10

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By Jorêk Bloodknyfe, Headhunter

As someone whomst hath worked in the murder-for-hire field his whole lyfe, I know a thing or two about assassinations. Whether the deed is done with an arrow from a rooftop during the village faire, or with a dagger in a bedroom in the dead of night, assassinating is an honoured tradition amongst career lyfe-enders like mineself.

But the act of murdering a prominent figure at the behest of his rivals is not the venerable career move it used to be. Assassinations these days hath become way too political.

When I was but a lad starting out in this industry, I would assassinate anyone simply for love of the kill, for the sweet warm joy of blood dripping down my blade. Barons, princesses, peasants, even other assassins, I’d do them all without a thought about politicks. Fie! I’d even assassinate for free on the weekends! That’s how much I love this jobbe.

Nowadays, however, young assassins seem more concerned with party politicks than with the craft of high profile murder. They worry about whether their prey supported this-or-that tariff rather than about goode poignard-to-the-neck thrusting technique; they care more for which crest their target wears upon his helm than about whether they should loot his coffers before or after he bleeds out.

As much as I love assassinating, this business is not what it once was. I fear the over-politicization of deliberately planned homicide will deter honest, hard-working young headhunters and half-orc bastards from joining this once illustrious profession. ‘Tis a shame, but us upright assassins mustn’t fall into such a trap.

I, for one, shall continue to uphold the nonpartisan standards of our profession. I shan’t be caught dead assassinating for a cause so ignoble as politicks.

Unless, of course, it pays well.