Ye Olde Tyme Quest: The Peasant
A book, wherein the reader embarks upon a journey of their own choosing
Dearest vassals,
‘Tis with great pleasure that His Majesty presents to thee a new booke: Ye Olde Tyme Quest: The Peasant (Wherein the Reader Embarks on a Journey of Their Own Choosing).
‘Tis a choose-thine-own-adventure story in which thou art — fittingly — a peasant. Wilt thou increase thy social station, or mayhaps go on exciting unpeasantly adventures? Probably not. Seriously, what did one expect from a peasant’s lyfe?
Ne’ertheless, readest on, and perhaps some surprises await thee.
‘Tis published under a Creative Commons CC BY-NC-ND 4.0 license, and ‘tis free to share for non-commercial purposes. This means thou can sharest it far and wide amongst thy family, friends, literate peasants, and even Frœnchmen!
Without further ado, here is the booke:
And this is how it starts:
Thy Journey Begins
You awaken many hours before dawn on a bed made of straw and ox dung. You roll over to kiss your wife and find she has died in the night from an ague.
You call to your daughters, “Daughters, thy mother hath died in the night from an ague. Dispose of her body in the typical way we dispose of our family members’ bodies whence they die in the night.”
“Yes, papá,” they say. Then they take her body away to the disposing place.
Time to get to work.
You have nothing for breakfast because you can’t afford food. You walk outside to the fields. It is still dark, but already it is hot. At the same time it is also freezing cold. It is pouring rain and the wetness chills you to your bones, but it is somehow also so dry that your throat is parched. #PeasantProblems.
You pick a turnip and put it in the basket.
You pick another turnip and put it in the basket.
You keep picking turnips and putting them in the basket. When the basket is full you deposit it into your turnip cart. You return to picking turnips and repeat the process.
This continues for many hours. So many hours.
The sun is now beginning to set. Your back aches and your fingers bleed from all the picking, but there is still more picking to be done because it never really ends. You see in the distance that peasants from the other fields are retiring to the tavern for the day.
What do you do?
Download the book to continue thy journey. There be well over a dozen different endings, and most paths can be completed in about 10 minutes.
His Majesty truly hopes thou enjoys it (He also decrees that thou shalt enjoy it, or else the dungeon awaits thee).
Letteth Us know:
Didst thou enjoy the book? What didst thou enjoy or not enjoy about it? (naysayers shalt be sent to the dungeon, of course, but We still appreciate thy feedback)
Wouldst thou like to see future books like this? What types of characters wouldst thou like to be?
Hast thou paid thy taxes to the Royal Coffers yet?
LMAO that was so fun! I died a peasant but with buried bags of gold coins, enough to pay for ale until my dying day.