All too often, we find ourselves being recruited unwillingly to take part in a siege or set-piece battle, only to find ourselves coming up short when we try to find an excuse to getteth out of it. Well that problem shan’t be thine anymore!

The next tyme someone tries to force thee to participate in a violent historical event in which thou wilt probably die, simply use Ye Olde Tyme Excuse Generator below to get thyself out of it!

If thou dost enjoy Ye Olde Tyme News, rememberest to subscribe, sharest it with thine other peasant friends, and followest His Majesty on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook @yeoldetymenews.