What an Idiot: Cuthbert Said a Dragon Is Eating His Family When ‘Tis Clearly a Wyvern

Be a little more specifick next tyme

Peasants can be quite dull sometymes, as e’eryone knows. But wethinks Cuthbert tooketh ye cake on this occasion: when he saw that a mighty fire-breathing beast had burned down his hovel and was actively consuming his wyfe and children, he ran to the village square and told everyone that a dragon was eating his family. This in spite of the fact that the creature eating his family was clearly no mere dragon, but a wyvern.

What an idiot!

Sure, ‘twas hard to see clearly, being as there wast a goode deal of fire and smoke obscuring the area, and the wyvern’s claws gouged out one of Cuthbert’s eyes.
We were hoping such was the case, and that he was just using the word “dragon” as a general term which encompasses wyverns, drakes, amphipteres, and other diverse species. However, when we asked him to be more specific about which type of dragon was tearing his loved ones to shreds, he just stared at us with a shocked look on his face and kept mumbling “dragon” whilst crying.

Clearly he had no idea!

Wyverns only have two legs instead of the four that regular dragons have. It shouldst have been obvious to him that it was a wyvern because it was using its two legs to crush his home and livestock whilst doing most of the flesh ripping with its mouth. A dragon wouldst have split flesh ripping duties betwixt its mouth and its foreclaws much more efficiently.

Based on the acidic damage done to the surrounding area, ‘tis also apparent it projected some sort of venomous spew, another clear trait of a wyvern.

Seriously, if a legless wyrm slithered out of the lake and devoured his wyfe whole, would he call that a dragon, too? Mehopes nay.

In the end it matters not, for ‘twas not like any of the villagers were going to do anything to help anyway. But in the future, one wouldst like to see people more accurately identify the monsters that are eating their families.


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