“Well Done, M’Lord,” And Other King-Approved Phrases To Mutter As Thou Art Trampled Underfoot By His Steed

There be no truer honour than to die in battle for The King whilst slaying His enemies. And there be no more honourable way to die than by being trampled underfoot by thine own King’s steed as He pursues the enemy whilst they flee His Merciful Wrath. Here be somme King-approved phrases to mutter as thou art trampled underfoot by His Majesty’s warhorse in the mêlée.

“Well done, M’Lord!”

“May many soldiers in the opposing army meet the same fate as I!”

“Mine filthy peasant face is not worthy of such trampleage, but I shall savour this opportunity nonetheless.”

“Prithee, that’s my spine.”

“Thy steed’s hooves hath been shod cleverly.”

“Serves me right for not being at the front of the charge where I wouldst be killed by the enemy instead.”

“‘Tis such an honour to be crushed by Your Majesty’s steed, I only wish that Your Majesty would lance me as well.”

“Oh, how swell, Your Majesty did just lance me.”

“I fully support whatever the politickal purpose of this battle is, though I know not of politicks and was only levied into the army from my village yesterday.”

“I hope that my death is utterly forgettable but that the finesse of Your Majesty’s crushery is sung in the hist’ry books for all the ages.”

“Nevermind that last part. I don’t know what a book is.”

“May His Majesty win freedom for all the peoples of the Realm! Unless we’re trying to oppress all the peoples of the Realm, in which case: May His Majesty oppress all the peoples of the Realm!”