We Gaveth 100 Peasants Free Tickets To This Archery Tournament But Didst Not Tell Them They Were The Targets
Who dothn't love free tickets? No one!
Forsooth, when we offered 100 peasants free tickets to Ye Olde Archerium, the Kingdom's premier archery tournament, they accepted them no questions asked. We just happened to leave out one small detail about the fact that they wouldst be the targets!
Thou might sayest that these peasants hadst no choice but to beeth the fleshy arrow sacks anyway. And 'tis true, the Royal Magistrate of Tournaments and Jousts wouldst have rounded them up for targetry just the same. But the tournament always goeth off more smoothly when the meat targets cometh willingly.
“‘Tis such a treat to have real lyfe peasants as targetry,” sayeth Royal Magistrate of Tournaments and Jousts Rundhar Horseswashing. “The archers love it, the fans love it. Although, ‘tis never really clear which part of them is the bullseye, so we just end up shooting them all over.”
So if thou art planning on attending the festivities of Ye Olde Archerium, thou wilt beeth in for a messy spectacle of bowmanship!
Let arrows fly for The King!