Ugh: Cuthbert Is Calling Himself a Writer Now Just Because He Learned How to Spell "Jeſuſ"

One wouldst have thought that the era of peasants learning to write and giving themselves all manner of titles hath long past. One wouldst have thought the many taxes and labours The King hath generously bestowed upon the lowbornes wouldst keepeth them busy and afraid enough to dare not read. And one wouldst have thought the few whomst did learn the dark art of writing wouldst at least have the tact to ne’er use the skill or speak of it.

But it turneth out one wouldst have been wrong. For Cuthbert hath been walking around the village referring to himself as a “writer” just because he learned how to spell “Jeſuſ.”

Ugh, be this guye serious? One villager e’en heard him call himself a “scribe” once.

Just the other daye, he strolled into the tavern and began talking about his “creative process” and how he wast working on a booke deal to spell “Jeſuſ” for the next batch of Bibles coming out of the local monastery. As if he wast the first person e’er to learn to spell “Jeſuſ”?!

Like, getteth not me wrong, spelling “Jeſuſ” be an impressive feat. But there be plenty of other peasants whomst also know how to spell one or two words. That doth not mean they consider themselves writers. Mine own doghter accidentally spelled “ſhep” in the dust whilst sweeping the floor of our hovel, and she’s a womyn!

Methinks it be tyme for Cuthbert to humble himself. Just because one can spell “Jeſuſ” doth not mean one shouldst go around towne bragging about it.

More news from ‘round the Realm:

Short stories: