‘Tis ye Owner, Not ye Breed
And other excuses dragon owners make when it is pointed out that their pet is currently laying waste to the realm
‘Tis ye owner, not ye breed.
Forsooth, he is ripping apart the blacksmith, but he’s great with children.
He beeth not aggressive, he beeth reactive. His version of reactive just happens to include crushing thee in his giant, ravenous jaws.
Unicorns bite and stab people with their horns all the tyme. Other than the Eradicate All Unicorns and Make History Believe They Never Existed Foundation, I don’t see anyone trying to ban unicorns.
I warned thee not to let him smell gold.
He’s really a sweetheart when he’s covered in peasant blood.
Most dragons are actually great with strangers, provided the strangers are already on fire.
As long as he’s kept in a massive cavern lined with layers of impenetrable iron and stone and fed 200 sheep per day, my dragon would never hurt a soul.
He just doesn’t like men with beards. Or faces. Or a pulse.
Sorry, I meant to say “sit,” not “incinerate everyone within a 30-mile radius.”
Okay, so dragons tend to annihilate everything unfortunate enough to cross their path. But they’re still better than cats.
Fromme ye archives:
"You startled him."
"He doth not liketh people to stare at him. Thy wyfe shouldn't have stared."