This Well-To-Do Merchant Owes His Success To Reading Pamphlets About What Other Well-To-Do Merchants Owe Their Success To

Financial success for the merchant class can beeth hard to come by, what with rampant piracy, extreme poverty amongst the vast majority of the population, and ubiquitous taxes (blessed be said taxes!). But ‘tis nonetheless quite possible to experience success in thy mercantile endeavours if thou adopts wise stratagems.

Giovannus Idear ist amongst the Kingdom’s most well-to-do merchants. But ‘twasn’t always so. He sayeth he owes most of his success to reading self-help pamphlets about what other well-to-do merchants owe their success to.

Reading! Whomst wouldst have thought!

Curious as to what beeth on Giovannus’s pamphletshelf? He sayeth these works by well-to-do-merchants set him on the path to becoming a well-to-do merchant himself.

Spice Smuggling O’er the Rumpback Mountains on a Budget, by Cates Orefoote

Famous spice merchant Cates Orefoote went from small-tyme mountain brigand to one of the wealthiest spice merchants in the Realm. She wrote a famous pamphlet about her patented technique of outright murdering everyone she crossed paths with in the mountains and taking their spice haul for herself because the mountains be a lawless and brutal place. Whilst she was eventually captured, tortured, and kilt for the many terrible things she did, Idear credits her writings for his cutthroat attitude towards commerce.

Everydaye Overlordship: Daily Habits of the Kingdom’s Most Merciless Overlords, by Lord Wolfgard von Mansa

Lord Wolfgard von Mansa acquired wealth and fame through the cruel and merciless administration of his demesne. But underneath his success lay a foundation of daily habits that helped him maintain the relentless energy required to persecute his vassals and enemies to no end. Even if one ist not lord of one’s own fief, Idear says von Mansa’s habits can be applied to one’s everydaye merchanting. Some examples include “Killeth someone before breakfast,” “Keep thy friends in thy dungeon and thine enemies also in thy dungeon,” and “A peasant in the fields ist worth two whomst are also in the fields but whomst only have one arm each because thou cut the other off in a fit of rage.”

Manticores, Dragons, and Pards, Oh Mie! How to Acquire REAL Monies from MYTHICAL Animal Pelts, by Jusef Nockswode

Many a modern merchant eschews the mythical animal pelt trade, decrying the niche market for such things and the high o’erhead. But, as Nockswode’s pamphlet on the matter explains, the customers art highly dedicated and willing to pay top dollar for a manticore pelt or centaur mane neckerchief. ‘Tis rumoured that Nockswode planned to release a sequel in which he uncovered the location of several of the most fruitful dragons’ lairs for acquiring chic scale armour, but his body was found ripped in twain and burned to ash before he had a chance to publish.

Row Thy Merchant Ships to Profitability with Galley Slaves, by Larwill Klyne

This famous pamphlet hath been influential in the sea trade for many a year. Klyne’s insights that one doth not actually have to pay the galley slaves whomst row their ships helped him amass a fortune of which he shared nary a grout with any of his employees. Although, ever since Klyne was kilt in a galley slave uprising, Idear says he doth pay his galley slaves a small wage to keep them from rebelling (but he doth not offer medickal insurance, of course).


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