This Prince Can Resurrect Thee With a Kiss, but Can He Make Thee Cometh?
Take ye quizze and finde out!
So thou art a fair princess cursed to an eternal slumber? In thy situation, the ability of a prince to resurrect thee from death with a mere kiss is certainly a desirable quality in a suitor.
But what happens next? Doth he lavish thee with emeralds and jasper? Doth he honour thee with feasts and banquets?
Can he make thee cometh?
(Of course, by “cometh” we mean “cometh with him back to his castle to live happily e’er after.”)
Taketh ye quizze below to find out of the magickal prince who just revived thee with true love’s kiss also hath the ability to make thee cometh (with him back to his castle to live happily e’er after).
Doth he have previous experience reviving dead princesses, or was this his first tyme?
A. His quivering lips and general lack of resurrecting ability indicate ‘twas his first tyme.
B. He revived a bunch of princesses back in college, and he regularly revives dead concubines to stay on top of his game. Occasionally, he’ll even revive an opposing knight whom he felled in a joust.
Did he use any tongue?
A. Nay. He is rather unskilled in the glossal arts.
B. Verily! A great deal of tongue. And fingers. And some other oblong contraption, the likes of which I had ne’er before seen, but which nonetheless accomplished its objective gallantly.
What are his thoughts on foreplay?
A. The only “play” he is concerned with is swordplay.
B. Foreplay, aftplay, portplay, starboardplay. He is keen on all manner of nautical sport.
Doth he have a magick wand?
A. He hath a wand of sorts, but I would hardly consider it to be magick.
B. More like a wizard’s staff hewn of solid oak!
Describe his castle tower(s).
A. Narrow and flimsily built. Took me a while to find his keep.
B. Sturdy, tall, thick, and veiny. Many soldiers standing guard upon it at all hours, if thou art into that sort of thing.
Where, exactly, did he kiss thee?
A. Upon my chaste noble lips.
B. That is none of thy business, goode sir! / vagina.
Did the Prince make thee cometh (with him back to his castle to live happily e’er after)?
Nay. His castle keep was far too insubstantial to do the job. However, as thanks for bringing thee back from the dead, thou may have to pretend to cometh (with him back to his castle to live happily e’er after) for the sake of his confidence. Option 2 is to withdraw back into everlasting sleep and hope a more virile prince revives thee at some point in the ensuing centuries.
Indeed! Thou didst cometh (with him back to his castle to live happily e’er after) o’er and o’er again for hours —nay, decades — on end. ‘Twas truly a fairy tale ending for the prince and thee! Until he got olde and the much younger and lither sergeant-at-arms was forced to take over comething duties.