So Thy Third-Favourite Wyfe Had a Tryst With the Moat Boy

Whilst it is not common, sometimes a man grows a thing called “feelings” for one or another of his wyves. New wyves being so easy for a nobleman of means to acquire, we oft forget that they are slightly more than mere property to some people.

Even a wealthy and valiant lord can have his “feelings” wounded whereupon a favoured retainer betrays his trust. The wound can cut particularly deep when one of a nobleman’s top three or four wyves is caught in a tryst with the moat boy.

Surely any man who doth possess a moat hath witnessed his wyves gazing with mandibles agape upon the moat boy’s rippling peasant muscles as he scrapes the fetid waters of debris. Mayhaps he hath even gazed upon the bulging specimen glistening in the sun himself. But to lose the loyalty of both moat boy and wyfe in a single rendezvous is an affront not easily o’ercome.

“Woe ist me! It feels as though a small dagger hath been thrust into mine heart,” sayeth nobleman Sir Iaros, whose third-favourite wyfe wast caught in a dalliance with his favourite moat boy. “‘Twas not thrust deep enough to kill me, but certainly deep enough to make me weep when I had them both executed.”

So What Shouldst One Do About It?

The simple answer is to have both wyfe and moat boy executed like Sir Iaros did. But the simplest solution ist not always the best one.

Thy moat has specifick needs, and ‘tis difficult to find an able moat boy whomst will work for basically nothing and is also comely to gaze upon. The wyfe ist easier to replace, but this also takes tyme and a suitable dowry offer from a neighbouring demesne.

“The important thing ist not to ignore thy ‘feelings,’” sayeth Mistress Jagurja, an enchantress whose dark spells include relationship counseling and vassals therapy. “Once the ‘feelings’ hath been properly identified, a moderately-priced potion can be concocted to temper them. And for a reasonable up front fee and six to twelve months of beguiling sessions, ‘twill be like nothing e’er happened!”

Ultimately, one hast to think of the bigger picture. A prince can always acquire more wyves, but eliminating even one of them can harm his alliance with her house. Punishing thy third-favourite wyfe and moat boy too severely can also have negative effects upon thy relationship with thy other wyves and servants.

So when thou art deciding whatso to do after discovering one of thy wyves gamboling with the moat boy in the moat house, be sure to think with a clear head to find a solution. The long term health of thy moat is more important than “feelings” anyway.