Should the Royal Exchequer Close the “King Taketh E’erything from E’eryone Whene’er He Wants” Tax Loophole?
The King sayeth “nay”
The King’s lowly subjects hath oft complained about tax loopholes which seem to benefit only the upper crust of the nobility, whilst leaving mere peasants in the dust where they belong. One such loophole, which the Archchairsitters of the Royal Exchequer shall debate in the coming days, is known as the “King Taketh E’erything from E’eryone Whene’er He Wants” tax loophole.
As the name implies, this loophole giveth His Majesty the absolute right to levy whatever taxes He seeth fit on whomsoever He please and for whatever purpose suits His Fancy. Opponents of such a tax mayest argue ‘tis an ungodly law and that no monarch shouldst have such a right, and they mayest also be hanged for their impertinence.
But whatso thinketh the majority of lowborns? (Not that their opinions doth matter!) We didst conduct a survey to find out.
As one mayest observe, the vast majority of The King’s subjects greatly respect His God-given right to take from them at will, even if for no purpose other than His own amusement at their expense. This is such as things are. Just listen to these glowing testimonials, which were not in any way coerced out of the respondents:
“Taxing us too much? If anything I wish The King wouldst tax me more!”
“Oh, so that’s why he levied all seven of me sons into the Royal Navy.”
“I had a shilling once and The King took it.”
“Some might say a tax system based on the arbitrary whims of a single individual ist less than ideal. But I, for one, wouldst much rather see my tax money go to the Royal Whims than to something useless like foode for me children.”
“If we start changing tax loopholes it might set a dangerous precedent of societal progress.”
Those few roguish knaves who didst decide to respond otherwise wert justly sent to the gallows.
As such, the Archchairsitters of the Exchequer shan’t be closing any tax loopholes any tyme soon. And if they try otherwise, there be a fresh axe awaiting their necks.
Long Live The King!
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