Rebellious Teenager Just Going Through “Orc Warrior Cursed by a Malevolent Wizard” Phase

He'll grow out of it.

All teens go through this phase.

After a number of incidents in which her son blatantly defied his parents’ wishes and joined a dark army intent on subjugating the Realm, Lady Melba noted that he was “just going through an ‘orc warrior cursed by a malevolent wizard’ phase.”

“‘Tis just a phase. Every teen is cursed by Elrír the Sly and joins his evil orc army to battle the forces of man around this age,” spake Lady Melba. “He’ll grow out of it.”

Professor of Bestiary Sciences Fjardle Mírsdÿr sayeth not to worry. ‘Tis common for teens to go through all manner of fantastical phases. Teenage boys will oft be cursed by wizards and take up arms to fight either for or against the Forces of Light. Teenage girls, on the other hand, oft go through an “assassinating all of my family’s male heirs so I may inherit what is rightfully mine” phase. If a family can get through such phases alive and in a region not yet conquered by the Darkness, they usually come out stronger for having done so.

“Some parents may think, ‘It is not normal for my child to transform into a hideous ogre and do the bidding of a vile wizard in his quest to destroy the Realm.’ But they wouldst be wrong,” spake Mírsdÿr. “Where dost thou think the rest of the orc warriors in his army came from?”

Whilst it can be difficult for a parent to deal with such phases, Mírsdÿr sayeth ‘tis best to give them some space and let them work through their feelings on their own.

“For now, I think I’ll just back off and let my son be a wicked orc warrior for a few months,” spake Lady Melba. “So long as he makes his bed and cleans his room, he can terrorize the innocents under the merciless hand of the Sly One as much as he wants.

“But I’d better not walk in on him orcing off.”

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Herein be some other common phases teens go through.

Lads:

• The Pointy Shoes and Tights Phase

• The Ostrogoth Phase

• The “Becoming an Idealist and Leading a Peasants’ Rebellion but then Changing Sides to Save Oneself When It Becomes Obvious the Peasants Will Lose” Phase

• The “Dead from Plague” Phase

Lasses:

• The “I’m Not Getting Married at Age Thirteen” Phase

• The Troubadour Fangirl Phase

• The “Spending Her Dowry on Pointy Hats” Phase

• The Witch Phase

• The “Accusing Everyone Else in the Village of Being a Witch” Phase

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Fromme ye archives:

The Magick-Industrial Complex