Quizze: Is the Troubadour Bedding Thy Wife or Just Singing Her Tales of Courtly Love Whilst Thou Art Away at War?
By Wistful Creek Dweller Nat Hrvatin
Alas, love! ‘Tis hard to maintain in a marriage, especially when thy nuptials were merely arranged to expand thy acreage.
If this sounds like thee, and thou also suspects that thine smoking hot troubadour may be bedding thy wife behind thy back, then taketh this quizze!
How many strings does thy troubadour have on his lute?
1. Why, there are no strings on his lute at all! He told thee that he hath mastered the air-lute and hath much “skill with his fingers”.
2. Several strings broke off whilst thou beat him with the lute for making eye contact with thy wife. But the rest are intact, so he can still strum out a pitiful tune.
Doth he carry around a notebook full of his original love compositions?
1. Yea, and in it, there are many lyrics that describe a fair maiden with golden locks down to her trim waist – an exact description of thy wife!
2. Nay, the boy only knows a handful of tunes and the lyrics always end in the courtiers dying a tragic death. He sure knows how to kill the mood, which makes thee sad, and compels thee to beat him with his lute.
Dost thou satisfy thine own wife?
1. Yea, thou hast provided thy wife a roof over her head, an armful of thy progeny, and two full chambers of thy castle she is allowed to use. What could a broad-shouldered troubadour with thy wife’s lipstick on his lapel possibly offer her that thou can’t?
2. Yea, thou satisfies thy wife whilst thou art home. When thou art away at war, thy wife requests the troubadour to sing lamentations of star-crossed lovers, which must indicate her longing for thee. Thou hast given her permission to beat him over the head with his own lute should his songs make her cry.
What type of plumage adorns thy troubadour’s hat?
1. A single peacock feather announcing his brazen advances towards thy wife.
2. A handful of chicken feathers to soften the blow when thou striketh him over the head with his own lute.
Mostly 1’s - Alas, whilst thou slays The King’s enemies, thy wife is bedding that rotten troubadour. Methinks thou should be more cautious when hiring a troubadour with a broken lute and no musical training.
Mostly 2’s - Thy wife isn’t happy with thee, nor is the troubadour. But, they are not having an affair. Perhaps thou can save the aggression for the battlefield.
Nat Hrvatin is delighted to put her B.A. in English to some goode use. She is a scribe whose work hath appeared in Slackjaw, The Belladonna, The Broadway Beat, Points in Case, and Widget. nathrvatin.com