Quiz: Art Thou Happy or Is It Just the First Tyme in a While the Dire Dragon of Evermore Hasn’t Incinerated a Relative?
By Tavern Wench Catherine Weingarten
Lo! Thou hast awakened to a bright sun and fresh airs and everything seems so sweet. But art thou truly happy, or is it just the first time in so long the Dire Dragon of Evermore hasn’t scorched the flesh of a cousin or member of thy immediate family? Takest this quiz to find out!
Thou hast the whole afternoon off from working in the fields. What dost thou choose to do?
A. Make many pastries for the local children and yell into the sky, “I am happy, world!”
B. Stare off at the sunset while lightly smiling and remembering how last week thy second cousin Olaf was incinerated by the Dire Dragon of Evermore but at least no one has died today and that’s a big #win.
Thou art dancing through the streets and a man asks if he and his seven children can join thee. Thou sayest:
A. “Oh yes please! The more the merrier! I am so happy!”
B. “Sure, but thou looks like my cousin Smithton, the shoemaker, who was eaten last week by the Dire Dragon of Evermore. So don’t dance too close cause thy face is triggering me.”
Thy mother asks thee, “Oh, child art thou happy? Thy smile is so wide it blinds me!” Thou replies:
A. “Oh yes, mother, I am! I have everything I want in life and a new pair of shoes to boot!”
B. This scenario is not applicable to me since my mother is dead because the Dire Dragon of Evermore has a thing for mothers or M.I.L.Es (Mothers I’d Like To Eat).
Mostly As: Woweth! Thou art truly happy and thy disposition is contagious! Now go pick some flowers from the field and hug some wee ones on the street!
Mostly Bs: Thou art happy but it mostly has to do with the fact that none of thy relatives were brutally torched and chewed up by the Dire Dragon of Evermore. Be grateful today no one was eaten and try not to think about tomorrow and the fact that thy cousin Erma gets lost a lot in caves.