Peasant Shortage Threatens Dragon Foode Supply
Fie! The plague hath infected and kilt much of the Kingdom’s peasantry, thusly leading to a dyre shortage of foode for the Realm’s many dragons.
The peasant shortage hath many experts questioning whither these great fyre breathing beasts wilt turn next for a meal. Wilt they start eating themselves? Or perchance start encroaching closer to the cities for a bite of blacksmith flesh?
“Dragons doth prefer the hard, sinewy meat of peasant flesh, so ’tis likely wilt seek out the chiseled bodies of knights above all else,” sayeth expert dragon trainer Müsselfoot Tüffdayle. “If thou art a muscly warrior with body hewn from steel and oak in the fyres of combat, then thou wouldst be well advised to hide thy graven figure under loose fitting tunics, lest thy succulent man-meat catches a dragon’s eye.”
In the Yonder Flaxene Plains, a great she-dragon hath already ravaged ten herd of shep in her violent lust for meat. But even then the she-beast was not content, for ’tis only roasted peasant steaks that can satisfy her hunger.
If thou knowest of any peasants not yet kilt by plague or dragons, report them to thy local military garrison so they can be sacrificed to keep these moste terrible beasts at bay.
If thou dost enjoy Ye Olde Tyme News, sharest it with thine other peasant friends, and followest His Majesty on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook @yeoldetymenews.