Obnoxious Sleighers Wake Entire Village With Their Ring-Ting-Tingling
Fie! A group of obnoxious sleigh riders hath been caught ring-ting-tingling through multiple villages in the wee hours of the eve, awakening countless souls from their humble rest.
“‘Twas in the midst of the standard three hours of sleep me’gets betwixt workdays, when me’heard the incessant jingling of sleigh bells ’round the village square,” sayeth local spoonsmith Yîtto Spoonmaker. “I awakened from mine bed and yelt, ‘Stop that confounded ring-ting-tingling before me’throws a spoon at ye!’ They musta heard me, for they soon moved on to the next village. But ’twas quite the inconvenience.”
“We don’t always get such major events happening ’round these parts.”
With great luck, the jingle-jangling cusses wert soonafter apprehended. The Royal Guard sayeth they are set to be put to death on Christmas eve for the cryme of waking a nobleman from his slumber.
“We all knoweth that Noblewaking is a heinous cryme, for which all perpetrators shalt be sent to the chopping block,” sayeth Royal Guard Captain Sterkbyg Bygsterkson. “We art just lucky we caught these giddyupping scoundrels before they interrupted the graceful sleep of two, or even three, nobles.”
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