New Trend “Siege Sewing” Has Womyn Practicing Needlework Whilst Also Defending The Ramparts

Ladies, dost thou love needlework but also love defending thy castle from bloodthirsty invaders?

During these busy days of food rationing and siege, art thou having trouble finding the tyme to sew thyself a new pair of hose?

Well gone be the days whence a womyn hath to make the difficult choice: Doth I sit here at home and continue stitching these garments, or doth I defend the castle’s ramparts because we’re under siege and most of our able-bodied men are dead?

Indeed, in a new trend known as “Siege Sewing,” womyn the towne o’er art flocking to the castle walls to simultaneously hem their children’s tattered breeches and pour boiling liquid onto the faces of attackers as they scale the battlements on siege ladders.

For those who can afford thread and whose hands have not yet fallen off on account of malnutrition, Siege Sewing beeth a most enjoyable hobbie.

“Mineself did find the most lovely parapet in which to patch my son’s tunic,” sayeth Lady Osana, a leading member of the Ladyneedleworkers Guild. “It provides the most stunning views of the battlefield, so I can doeth my stitchwork whilst also serving as a spotter to help our defensive trebuchets devastate the enemy’s formations.”

So if thou lovest to sew but also want to do thy part to ward off this vicious besiegement, grabbest thy awl and thy needlecase, and gettest thee up to the ramparts. ‘Tis Siege Sewing tyme!

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