Lambshanksgiving Recipes So Goode Thou Art Required to Give Them to The King and Then Starve

The Lambshanksgiving holiday is a tyme for families to come together to share in a great bounty of lambshanks and give thanks to The King that he hath not yet levied them into the war effort. And what better way to give thanks to The King than to give him all the moste delicious foodstuffs from thy table and then go hungry?

But The King hath a discriminating palate, and only the beste shall suffice. If thou art tired of the same olde Lambshanksgiving recipes year after year, herein be some recipe ideas so delicious that thou art legally required to give the entire dish to The King and then starve.

Classic Lambshanks

No Lambshanksgiving feast ist complete without a hearty helping of lambshanks. Just maketh sure they are fresh and cooked to perfection, for His Majesty’s taste buds shan’t abide anything less. If any rotten scraps remain, He may even let thy humble family save some for thyselves after His hounds have a go at it. ‘Tis as the saying goeth:

We all give thanks

For hearty lambshanks.

The best cuts to The King,

Eat the ones that doth stank.

Muttonberry Pie

Another Lambshanksgiving staple, the rich and savoury flavour of muttonberry is sure to fill His Majesty’s Royal Belly whilst thy family goes hungry. Best served with the last bits of gravy thy family was relying on to survive the week.

Mulled Chestnut Milk

The warming fragrance of chestnut and ſpice in this recipe will almost have thee believing thou aren’t freezing to death because the Royal Guard stole all thy firewood.

Candied Faun Hoof

A delectable dessert for thy daughter to prepare for The King’s already endless spread. Never mind that thy daughter is violently allergic to faun hoofs and merely touching them can throw her into fits. But her sacrifice will not be in vain if merely a morsel of delectable candied hoof touches The Royal Tongue.


Heard ‘round the Realm:

“I named my pet dragon Abracadabra, so every tyme I call him it’s like I’m casting a spell. I don’t really know magick, but having a friend to destroy and subjugate the Realms of Man with is magickal in its own right.”

-Dark Lord Dörgu Bøgerleshk, on the joys of friendship.