King Grants Womyn the Right to Vote for The King
Monarchy in action!
In a most generous and munificent decree fit only for the likes of His Royal Majesty, The King hath granted all womyn in the Kingdom the right to vote for Himself, The King.
“The King, in His Boundless Benevolence, hath granted all noble ladies of the Realm the right to vote for Him and Him alone,” spake Royal Spokesmæster Wulfwythe Swoondrake. “This, of course, is subject to the Voting Tax and the sworn allegiance of thy house and name to His Majesty for eternity on pain of death. But all-in-all very magnanimous.”
In the traditional Crowning process, The King was simply appointed by God, no questions asked. Mere mortals were not given a say in such a Divine Endeavour as choosing their King, for they are stupid and below Him. But a few years heretofore, The King granted all noble men the right to vote for Him, to make them feel as if they actually had some say in their destiny, which they do not.
Now, that privilege hath been given to noble womyn as well.
“Many a day have I longed for the opportunity to exercise my King-given right to tell Him I want Him to continue to rule us,” spake Lady Agnes of Gauntland. “Now I can proudly strut around town displaying a badge upon my breast which states ‘I Obeyed The King.’”
The announcement hath had the unintended consequence of leading others to believe they were authorized to run for office or vote for other people. Luckily, The King quickly cleared up the misunderstanding and had them all beheaded.
“His Majesty’s subjects need not worry about other so-called ‘candidates’ or ‘choices,’” spake Swoondrake. “It’s not like we’re going full on democracy here.”
At presse tyme, Swoondrake clarified that the right to vote for The King shall not be extended to poors. Also, womyn must be closely supervised by their husbands, fathers, and a squad of armed Royal Guardsmen throughout the voting process, for their own benefit.
King Unanimously Appointed as King by God
The votes beeth in, and once again The King hath been unanimously appointed as King by God in an overwhelming majority Heavenly Decree.
"We hath tallied God's Wishes, and this year He remaineth steadfast in His orders that The King shall rule for eternity,” sayeth Royal Godvote tallier Needham Miske. "There wast a moment there when 'twas looking lyke the Lord's Sentiments may have swung towards World Ending Apocalypse instead, but in the end His Faith in His Majesty's rule ist unwavering.”
Some subjects hath complained that God's Voice in appointing their ruler beeth not always representative of their wishes, and that there beeth no way to have an independent third party verify God's Decision. And they art correct. For their voices doth not matter and neither God nor The King doth care for the wishes of lowborne swine.
And anyways moste of the naysayers are mysteriously dead.
So rejoice in the knowledge that The King remaineth thine eternal ruler and He doth have the legitimate backing of God Himself!
God voteth for The King!