Jobbe Outlook During Ye Plague
An Moste Thorough Analysise
With ye plague still racking the Kingdom, some jobbes hath been hit hard, e’en as others hath thrived.
Whilst jobbe opportunities in sectors such as Gravedigging (+66%) and Being Born into the Nobility (+12%) hath grown since the start of ye plague, the outlook for Travelling Horses (-11%) and Womyn (-30%) beeth bleak.
“As with moste things, there’s nothing thou can do about it, since thou wast borne into thy profession and place on the social ladder,” sayeth Royal Economist Meethal Pickelgräber. “But ‘tis interesting to know nonetheless.”
The Royal Acadamie of Maths and Numericals commissioned a study to analysize the matter in detail.
The Royal Acadamie of Maths and Numericals undertook said study to identify the growth or decline of various jobbes throughout the Kingdom. In keeping with current Royal Decree and other standard feudal statistical pracktices, we crafted our study to ensure maximum bias against the peasantry and other undesirable classes.
In cases where the profession at hand was performing better than expected or desired, we simply changed the numbers arbitrarily or otherwise killed people until we obtained the desired outcome. For example, the Peasants, General (-9%) category initially recorded a job growth of 13%. But we can’t have peasants outperforming the Nobility (+12%). So we asked the Royal Army to burn a few villages down and starve out some others to bring the numbers back to acceptable levels.
We also canvassed a wide variety of experts loyal to The Crowne to validate our predetermined results.
Jobbes that Grew
It cometh as no surprise that Gravediggers (+66%) and Bird-faced Döctors (+45%) be in high demand during a period when everyone is dying of plague. But perhaps the moste unexpected high performer on the list is Buttwipesmen (+14%).
“Something we hath seen during this plague that we didst not see in previous plagues is that people are fæculating non-stop,” sayeth Chief Wipesman of the Buttwipers’ Guild, Garrett Skidmarkhand. “We hardly have enough trained Buttwipesmen to keep pace. Some are having to wipe with both hands, and even elbows, to keep up with demand.”
The many experts we surveyed also predicted a number of other positive economick trends that we shall experience as ye plague continues:
More inequality. The noble and rich shall become noble and richer, whilst the base and poor shall become baser and poorer. Even though gravedigger, the top jobbe on the list, falls into the “base and low” category, gravediggers aren’t really paid anything and their lives are miserable.
More coin in the Royal Coffers. By law, the death tax hath been set at 50% of the dyer’s possessions, plus tax. More people dying means more money in the Royal Coffers. And more money in the Royal Coffers means:
More War. Lack of manpower is an issue because everyone’s dead, but there is more than enough coin to purchase mercenary armies and wage all the glorious War His Majesty desires. Rather than one big War every few years, expect perpetual small ones to keep The King’s foes on their toes.
The increased demand for War has kept jobbe growth steady among Warhorses at +7%. Necromancers (+27%) and Being Born into the Nobility (+12%) also experienced gains. For the Necromancers, it seems there’s more dead people than ever to talk to. For the Nobility, with e’eryone stuck inside of doors, they have plenty of tyme to sit around and produce heirs.
Jobbes that Shrunk
As always, Womyn (-30%) are at the bottom of the list where they belong. Some may not consider woymyning to be a jobbe, as legally they are not allowed to do anything except have babies and sweep the floor, but it seemed inappropriate to put anything with males at the bottom.
Turnipmongers (-5%) and Peasants, General (-9%) also predictably fell, primarily due to painful plague and/or famine-related deaths. This hath caused some alarm over the Kingdom’s foode production. But experts say ‘twill be easy to cover the losses simply by making those that survived work harder.
“This be not the first tyme in his’try that many peasants hath died in a short period of tyme. After the Peasants’ Rebellion, the Second Peasants’ Rebellion, and the Turnip Rebellion, the Kingdom faced a lack of peasants to work the fields,” sayeth Pickelgräber. “There be many simple solutions: increase the workload of those that remain, lower the minimum plowing age from 4 years to 3, and capture enemy prisoners of war and force them to work the fields on pain of death.”
“All things balance out in the end if The King wills it.”
Wayfaring strangers and travelling fellowships may be dismayed to hear that Innkeepers (-13%) and Horses, Travel and Leisure (-11%) hath been racked by the plague. Many townships hath placed limits on the number of rogue knights and roving forest bands that can feast in innes at any one tyme, for fear of spreading ye plague.
The lack of horses for uses other than War hath e’en forced some questing knights to travel by foote.
“Despite difficulties with travel, the questing industry is still going strong,” sayeth Professor of Questiary Sciences Fynne Crowducke. “Many knights errant are opting to quest remotely with new crystal ball applications like MyScry and Clairvoyant+. Methinks in the future we’ll see more and more knights opting to quest from the comfort of their own castles.”
Whilst the effects of ye plague on the Kingdom’s economie and its subjects are far-reaching, His Majesty and his loyal vassals hath found ways to adjust, as always. Whither through campaigns to increase inequality, raising death taxes, or going to War, the Kingdom’s nobility shall remain as comfortable and secure as ever.
On the other hand, the Kingdom’s peasantry and other lowbornes shall continue to live pathetic, brutish, and short lives, as they are wont to do. And this is all well, for Fate has put them in their lowly positions, and none but The King be allowed to challenge Fate.
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