Is It One Of Those "My Sister Got Her Arm Bitten Off By A Mule" Kind Of Days?

By Tavern Wench Catherine Weingarten

Not every day be as easy as the last.

Some days thou just hast to work back-breaking labor for 13 hours, and some 15.

Some days thy sister and thee eat gruel and talk of how Great The King is, and some days she gets her arm bitten off by a mule.

I knoweth those be not the days thou enjoyest.

But on the bright side, at least thy sister is alive! Though she can no longer juggle, she can still do many things like eat and bear children, although her needlepoint game will not beeth as strong.

When thou feelest sad, turn to the towne influencers to see how they embody the towne spirit with self care. Dame Grisabella e’ery morning puts on lipstick made with beets, and Sir Sootworthy taketh a refreshing 15 minute run on the bodies of dead local peasants.

When things doth not go thy way, lookest to the Kingdom’s happy and rich to comfort thy woes. They have better lives than thee and thy sister and always shall! That is very comforting.

At least thy sister has one arm still. There be always a silver lining. But maybe telleth her having a pet mule beeth not the smartest idea, and with luck she shall retain the other arm for a year or more!

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