By Jorêk Bloodknyfe, Headhunter

I be a reasonable man, any of my fellow swords-for-hire will tell thee that. I don’t picketh fights unless that’s what I’m being paid for at that particular moment. And I respeckt other people’s opinions if they happen to differ from mine, even when I’m hired specifickally to kill someone for their opinions.

But if there be one thing that doth grind mine gears it be the P.C. Constables coming and telling me that wearing a necklace of the severed ears of mine enemies is “too offensive.”

Really? They be already dead. They shan’t miss their ears, I might as welle put them to goode use.

What hath happened to the goode olde days when a mercenary outlaw who cut body parts from his slain enemies and wore them as jewelry was considered cool? These days, you hang one bloody appendage on a string of tendon around thy neck and people try to “cancel” thee.

All these peasants claiming to be “awakened” be merely creating their own kinde of oppression by telling me I shan’t be allowed wear an ear necklace in publick. What be next, creating “safe spaces” where even rogue knights and runaway princes are safe from assassination and murder-for-ransom? Ridiculous!

What we need — and I think any headhunting half-elf murderer will agree with me — be some basic freedom of expression. Just because one may personally disagree with murder be no reason I should be silenced for wearing a necklace of severed human ears.

If thou agrees with me, speakest up! Flaunt thy ear necklace with pride during thy next ambush or raid into an unsuspecting magistrate’s house in the night.

Let’s maketh wearing necklaces of severed ears cool again!