How to Stay Calm in the Fortnightly Commerce Meeting Even Though the Agricultural Minister Is Clearly Not Budging on Sorghum Tariffs

Meeting amongst the Kingdom’s High Ministers to discuss the many fineries of commerce can oft be stressful, what with import and export laws, tariffs, tithes, tributes, wars, pirates, and so on. ‘Tis especially so when thou hast proposed an astute amendment to sorghum tariffs and yet the Agricultural Minister dismisses it out of hand.

Such insolence for one who clearly knows not the significance of sorghum imports nor the deliciousness of sorghum!

Here’s how to stay calm in the High Ministers’ Fortnightly Commerce Meeting even though the Agricultural Minister is clearly not budging on sorghum tariff policy.

Takest a Deep Breath

Closest thine eyes and breathe slowly in and out whilst thinking of how a change to sorghum tariffs couldst help boost the grain trade throughout the Realm. Imagine rich and earthy pearls of sorghum running along thy moist lips and how it will one day be thy sagacious tariff policy which gets them there.

Keepest Thine Eyes on the Prize

Remember that thine ultimate goal is acquiring vast quantities of sweet sorghum upon which to feast. Flying into a rage and murdering the Agricultural Minister in cold blood will only hinder this goal.

Plot the Agricultural Minister’s Demise

This be only one meeting, there shall be many more Fortnightly Commerce Meetings in the future. Thou can always hire an assassin to murder the current Agricultural Minister so a new one more favourable to thine ideas can be installed. This thought shall have a calming effect upon thee and get thee through the meeting without incident.

Create Empathy

Seeing things from the Agricultural Minister’s point of view can help open the conversation and build bridges between he and thee. Thy amicable dialogue will also make thee less suspect when thy assassin murders him before the next meeting.

Have a Script

If all else fails and thou finds thyself boiling with emotion, simply use lines from a prepared script so thou won’t say anything thou regrets. Things like, “I appreciate thine opinion, Agricultural Minister. Cannest thou please go into more detail on why the current sorghum tariff policy is superior to the one I propose?” and “I’m glad we are able to have such a frank discussion, and the outcome of this meeting will in no way determine whether I hire someone to assassinate thee.”

So if thou finds thyself irritated, galled, or tempestuous at the next High Ministers’ Fortnightly Commerce Meeting, givest these tips a try! The worst that can happen is they don’t work and thou murders the Agricultural Minister in cold blood.


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