How to Blame the Economic Downturn on Thy Peasants Even Though They Have No Idea What the Economy Is
How dare they
Gramercy for reading Ye Olde Tyme News! Subscribe for free to bend thy knee before The King. Many benevolent graces wouldst also be bestowed upon thee if thou wert to share it amongst thy fellow peasants.
Ye olde economy.
If there’s one thing e’ery lord and lady doth know about the economy, ‘tis that whenever things are going poorly the peasantry is to blame. If there’s another thing e’ery lord and lady doth know about the economy, ‘tis that peasants have literally no idea what it is, and even if one were to explain it to them they could not even begin to grasp the concept in their trifling peasant minds.
But no matter. It is of the utmost import that the liability for any economic woes — and all of society’s ills, for that matter — is placed firmly on the shoulders of peasants where it belongs. We wouldn’t want accusations pointed at the aristocracy, now would we? Ho-ha!
Herein beeth how to blame thy peasants for the recent economic downturn, even though they have absolutely no idea what the economy is.
Be the Victim
The first step in shifting the blame onto thy peasants is always to act like the victim. Show them that, as lord of this fief, thou art far more wounded by this economic strife than they could ever be. Say unto them, “How dare thou be so poor that thou cann’t even afford to pay me taxes?! Now I hardly have enough money to buy new garnet-encrusted chalices and satin drapes with which to entertain visiting Earls!”
Control the Narrative
Luckily, peasants don’t know how to read or write, and they aren’t really allowed to have opinions, so thou hast total control over the narrative. Publish many pamphlets and seed hearsay into the publick discourse casting the blame for the faulty economy on thy peasants. This shall ensure that their lowly names are sullied in the hist’ries for all tyme.
Make Thine Own Facts
“But m’lord,” thy peasants might say, “We’ve been standing in this field plowing for all o’ our lyfes. There be no way we could ‘ave unduly influenced the pryce o’ the commodities trade in the East.” Well, mayhaps they were seen sneaking away from their plows in the night and making sly deals with merchants to influence said commodities trade. ‘Tis thy word against the word of a peasant.
Invalidate Their Feelings
‘Tis important that any argument a peasant makes about how they had nothing to do with the ongoing economic collapse is invalidated immediately. If they try the classic “I’m sad and hungry and I have no idea what the economy is” argument, tell them to stop being so sensitive and getteth over it.
Whilst beating a confession out of thy peasants requires a bit more work than is desirable, and may even cause thee to break a sweat upon thy fair noble brow, a solid forced confession is a surefire way to get them to admit to causing macroeconomic strife throughout the Realm.
Ye ole supply and demand curve