Heard 'round the Realm

Recent quotes from subjects low and high

“The guy sold me this armour at a discount, on account of the tiny gargoyle that incessantly nibbles thy titty. But, the thing is, that’s my favourite part.”

-Sir Helmaffron, on getting a goode deal

No suit of armour

Ist compleat

Without a tiny gargoyle

Suckling thy teat.

-Olde warriors’ adage

“Human sacrifice. This is the pryce. I lust not for thy gold, but for thy fealty in blood.”

-The Swiftly Minstrel, on what it shall cost thee to hear her croon

Commend me thy loyalty

Rejoice in my throng

Shed blood in my name

Be rewarded with song.

-Lyrics from Her Swiftfulness’s latest single “No Mercy to Those Who Defy Me” (feat. Bon Iver)

“A true knight cares not for worldly comforts.”

-Sir Iain Frittswythe, on why he just pooped in his own armour

“Verily, sire, thou hast been bested. Now lieth still whilst I färt upon thy plackart.”

-Standard utterance after victory in single combat

Images:

1 - Rudolf Schlichter, Blind Power

2 - Robinet Testard, Allegory of Music

3 - Hans Thoma, Lonely Ride

4 - Paulus Kal, Fechtbuch, folio 55

5 - Très Riches Heures du Duc de Berry, November