Knights these days are fain to demonstrate their virility by performing all manner of feats of strength. Hefting stones, pulling swords from stones, thrusting swords back into stones, and bænch-pressing swords with stones attached at each end are but a few of their common demonstratives.

But what goode be these garish displays of robustness if a knight doth not even do cardio?

Sure pulling swords from stones mayest fall into the category of “functional fitness,” but just barely. Wherefore doth it matter if one can pull a sword from a stone on his fynest day, if in the heat of battle he is too drained of vigour to pull a sword when it matters most? If a knight be too tired to heft or pull or thrust after a hard days’ march and a cavalry charge, can he even call himself a builder of ye bodie?

Nay. Methinks a knight cannot truly call himself functionally fit unless he also adheres to a strict regimen of fencing, jögging, pouncing, prancing, skipping, dipping, scotch-hopping, sauntering, crouching, scrummaging, and falconing to condition the humours and the limbs for combat.

So the next tyme thou sees a brawny fellow pull a sword from a stone and declare himself a chevalier of corporeal fortitude, challenge him to a test of vascular agility, and see if his cardio be as keen as his showmanship.