He Can Pull a Sword from a Stone but Doth He Even Do Cardio?

Knights these days are fain to demonstrate their virility by performing all manner of feats of strength. Hefting stones, pulling swords from stones, thrusting swords back into stones, and bænch-pressing swords with stones attached at each end are but a few of their common demonstratives.

But what goode be these garish displays of robustness if a knight doth not even do cardio?

Sure pulling swords from stones mayest fall into the category of “functional fitness,” but just barely. Wherefore doth it matter if one can pull a sword from a stone on his fynest day, if in the heat of battle he is too drained of vigour to pull a sword when it matters most? If a knight be too tired to heft or pull or thrust after a hard days’ march and a cavalry charge, can he even call himself a builder of ye bodie?

Nay. Methinks a knight cannot truly call himself functionally fit unless he also adheres to a strict regimen of fencing, jögging, pouncing, prancing, skipping, dipping, scotch-hopping, sauntering, crouching, scrummaging, and falconing to condition the humours and the limbs for combat.

So the next tyme thou sees a brawny fellow pull a sword from a stone and declare himself a chevalier of corporeal fortitude, challenge him to a test of vascular agility, and see if his cardio be as keen as his showmanship.