Fun Uses for Wheels That All Involve Breaking Heretics on Them
The wheel maketh the Realm go ‘round. ‘Twas upon the wheel that His Majesty drove His Great Siege Engines to conquer the many cities of the Kingdom. And ‘tis upon the wheel that His annual tithe of grain is driven to Him from His subjects at the far corners of the Realm. But perhaps the grandest use of all for the wheel is the breaking of heretics upon it.
Here be somme fun uses for wheels that all involve breaking heretics on them.
Standard breaking of heretics.
Simply find a heretic, strap them to the wheel, and bludgeon them to death for somme good classick merriment.
Reverse breaking of heretics.
In this tried and true methode, one bludgeons the heretic to death and then straps them to a wheel afterwards. Makest sure to bring a friend, for their limp and blasphemous bodie is sure to be heavy!
Breaking heretics with the wheel.
In this instance one uses the wheel as the bludgeon with which to break the heretic. For double the wheelage, strap them to a second wheel whilst breaking them with the breaking wheel.
Breaking of heretics whilst driving a cart.
If thou art a busy executioner on the go, tie a heretic fast roundst a wheel of thy cart whilst travelling so he spinneth round and round on the cobbles and dirt. He shall surely be dead by the tyme thou reaches thy destination!
Breaking of heretics at the mill.
Strap a heretic to the waterwheel at the gristmill for the dual benefits of producing more grist for the Royal Cupboard and torturing the heathen sot!