Experts Say Waking Up at 4 a.m. Every Day to Plow the Fields Is Key to Not Being Flogged for Slothfulness
A new study by the Kingdom’s leading peasantologists hath concluded that waking up at four o’clock in the morning every day to plow the fields is the key to peasants not being flogged for slothfulness.
“In a moste comprehensive survey of turnipmongers, potatomongers, and leekmongers, we didst finde that an early rise followed by many excruciating hours of toil can reduce a peasant’s chances of being sloth-flogged by half,” sayeth Esteemed Lecturer Philator Pumbus. “Of course, they shall still receive the normal flogging that lords give to their peasants once or thrice a week for fun, but for the purposes of this study we didst not include that.”
Researchers found that every minute after four that a peasant rose from their filthy bed of straw wouldst lead on average to another lash-and-a-half with a cat o’ nine tails.
The findings offer much economick promise to liegelords and feudal masters of all types.
“Thy peasants aren’t being paid anyway, so really there be no reason not to wake them up ridiculously early,” sayeth Pumbus. “‘Tis not like they have any recourse whatsoever to object.”