Everybody Told Cuthbert He Was Doing Sword Fighting Wrong. That Didn't Stop Him From Doing His Own Thing

Huzzah, Cuthbert!

When most people think of sword fighting, they think of the same things: valiant knights proving their mettle on the field of battle, a hail of sparks as steel clashes against steel in a fatal dance of arms.

But not Squire Cuthbert.

He practices sword fighting in a different manner than all the rest. And — despite the fact that everyone hath been telling him for ages that he’s doing it all wrong — he continues to carve his own path in the sword fighting arena.

“We all hath to decide for ourselves which style of swordplay ist right for us,” sayeth Cuthbert. “For me, swordplay ist not just about vanquishing The King’s enemies or smiting one’s foes in single combat. For me, ‘tis about shoving one’s face into the crotch of thine enemy and wrapping his loins in a warm embrace.

“Whoso art thou to tell me I’m wrong?”

Indeed, after years of ridicule, more and more knights are beginning to adopt Cuthbert’s unique style of swordsmanship.

“Mineself wast a bit taken aback the first tyme I faced Cuthbert in a sword duel, but I now see the virtues of his ways,” sayeth fellow swordsman Giles Ælfbald. “Since adopting Cuthbert’s technique, I’ve found I’m a lot happier both during and after a bout. Howe’er, its merits on the actual battlefield are still to be proven.”

So if thou art an intrepid swordsman seeking to make thine own way on the field of knightly combat, taketh some tips from Cuthbert and goeth for it!