Layfolk the Kingdom ‘round art paying top dollar for forgiveness these days. Indeed, indulgences hath become such a hotte commodity that all manner of merchant priests and second-hand churches hath sprung up in the markets to sell them.
But one hath to be careful that the product one acquires guarantees genuine admission into Heaven, and is not some forgery that shall grant only partial forgiveness or no forgiveness at’all.
One unfortunate peasant named Cuthbert hath not yet realized the indulgence he bought from the pewside vendor that walks up and down the aisles selling things during mass is a knockoff.
“Egad! This indulgence shall certainly warsh me of mine sins and ensure mine entry into God’s Goode Grace!” said Cuthbert as he held the indulgence paperwork aloft to his family. “Sure, we can’t eat for a week because I spent all our monies on it, but ‘twas totally worth it.”
Boye is Cuthbert going to be pissed when he realizes ‘tis a fake that shall get him at most five minutes in one of the less desirable parts of Heaven, if that.
One sort of hast to feel bad for the guy. Like, sure he can’t read or anything, but c’mon, “indulgence” is spelled wrong right at the top of the parchment.
“Counterfeit indulgences hath been on the rise in recent years,” sayeth Divine Repentologist Luithpauld Rask. “The intemperance and excess of sin amongst the laity hath led to a low supply of the legitimate product.”
“Indeed, one can e’en consider the attempt to buy God’s forgiveness at a discount from a secondhand merchant as a sin in itself. For the only way to receive true forgiveness is to pay top dollar directly to the Church.”