Silly Mistakes All Enemy Prisoners of War Make During Their First Week in the Limestone Quarry

Makest the most of thy imprisonment

Oftentymes after a losing battle, thou finds thyself captured by the enemy’s forces and transported to a faraway slave quarry to live out a miserable existence of breaking stones under the hot sun until thou dies.

If thou art of noble bloodline, mayhaps thou canst rely on thy kinsmen to pay a ransom for thy release from bondage. But if thou art a mere peasant soldier or an archer, ‘tis likely thou shalt pass the remainder of thy short days cutting stone. If this be the case, be sure to avoid these common but easily avoidable mistakes that most enemy prisoners of war make during their first week enslaved in the limestone quarry.

Getting Captured in the First Place

Needless to say, being taken prisoner after doing battle against the Royal Army was a terrible idea. ‘Twould probably have been far less painful to just die on the battlefield. But, alack, here thou art.

Breaking Rocks Too Fast

One needs to think about one’s long term rock-busting potential. With the minimal amount of sleep thou gets at night and the long days in the blistering heat, thou won’t last long out here if thou hammers the stones too fast.

Breaking Rocks Too Slowly

On the other hand, one must avoid breaking rocks too slowly, lest one draws the ire of the guards and gets the lash.

Disobeying Voleg the Quarrymaster

In the quarry, Voleg reigns supreme. If thou dost not respond to his every whim with alacrity and haste, thou shalt be punish’d severely. Thou shalt but punish’d severely regardless, but still, ‘tis best not to rock ye boat.

Trying to Steal a Pinch of Salt

Salt and other delicacies are for guards and quarrymasters only. Thou shouldst be happy with the hardtack crust and cup of tainted water thou gets once a day at sundown.

Concealing Thy Discovery of Precious Ores and Gemstones

All precious metals and earthstones uncovered whilst digging are the rightful property of The Crowne. Whomst wast thou planning on selling them to, anyway?

Fomenting Discontent Amongst Thy Fellow Prisoners

‘Twas rebellion that cast thee into the quarry in the first place. Hast thou not learned thy lesson by now? Thy conspiratorial plots art bound to fail. Voleg hath many eyes and ears amongst the prisoners, so thou never knows whomst thou can trust.

Forgetting to Smile

Most importantly, don’t forget to smile as thou chisels away at the dusty rock. A frowning quarryman ist a dead quarryman.