"Cannon" and Other Types of Fodder To Use Thy Peasants As
By Royal Cartographer Andrew Koch
‘Tis often difficult to find a useful purpose for thy weaker peasants. Their sickly olde bodies can hardly work a plow for an hour, let alone a lyftyme. Luckily, if the War ist on (which it always is), there be plenty of ways to put thy frail peasants to use which require no skills a’tall! Here be somme types of fodder for which to use thy peasants when they are too weak to do anything that doesn’t involve dying.
Ye hottest new type of fodder. Simply line thy peasants up in a field and letteth them eat iron. If they are strong enough to run, thou canst also order them to charge. This serves as a goode distraction to allow thy more valuable troops to launch a flanking attack.
More commonly used by the poorer nations, but still a fun type of fodder if thou prefers a more traditional fodderage.
Just huddle thy peasants against the Castle walls so they can protect them with their disgusting peasant faces.
Same as Catapult Fodder but longer range and more lethal.
When somme of thy peasants start to revolt and throw rocks, use thy loyal peasants as meat shields whilst the Royal Peasant Beaters beat the others back into a lyfe of toil.
If thou art lucky enough to have peasants whomst are still strong enough to climb the siege ladders but not strong enough to work a plow, be sure to send them o’er the top first during thy next siege. This way, they shall absorb all of the enemy’s boiling pots of water and acid with their faces, clearing a path for the second wave of flesh puppets.
Not the moste efficient way to dispose of thy excess peasants, but ‘tis a great workout!
Andrew Koch ist mapping out His Majesty's Royal Lands and occasionally using peasants as fodder.