6 Excuses Holding Thee Back from Doubling Taxes to Fund a Precarious Naval Expedition

Every enterprising young lord desires to discover and conquer new territories beyond the horizon to bring fame and fortune to his name. But all too often, such lords will find themselves hampered by excuses which prevent them from building a mighty fleet of ships to sail into the great beyond seeking adventure and glory.

If this sounds like thee, then readest on. For herein be some of the top excuses that are preventing thee from doubling taxes in thy fiefdom to fund a precarious naval expedition.

1. Everyone Is Already Super Poor

One of the biggest excuses that will prevent an honest lord from raising taxes is the fact that all the peasants are already super poor. Well, gettest o’er it and raise those taxes. If they didn’t want to be poor then they shouldn’t have been born as peasants.

2. The Peasants Will Probably Rebel if I Raise Taxes During the Hungry Season

Related to the first point and equally likely to hold thee back in thy conquests, a doubling of taxes during the hungry season is certain to lead to a rebellion as most of thy vassals starve. But here there be an easy solution. Simply levy all of the able-bodied men into thy navy as oarsmen or deck swabbers, and problem solved!

3. I’m Not Merciless Enough to Plunder All the Lands I Discover

So thou finally mustered the pluck to raise taxes and sail out upon the high seas. But when thou comest upon a faraway land, then what? The standard practice is to kill and/or enslave all the inhabitants and plunder its resources for The Crowne. If thou fears thou art not merciless enough for such a task, ‘tis important to place lieutenants about thee who are. Don’t underestimate the value of cruel and brutish lieutenants for getting ye jobbe done.

4. I Already Felled the Entire Forest to Build an Armada for My Last Failed Naval Campaign

Don’t let thy past failures avert thee from pursuing thy dreams of misguided adventure. If thou needs more timber, just invade a neighbouring fief and take some of theirs.

5. I’m Too Olde

Many lords think that by the ripe olde age of 26 winters they are far too withered to be launching fresh naval expeditions. But ‘tis never too late to vanquish new landes in the Name of The King!

6. Yonder There Be Dragons

Experts hath confirmed that all landes beyond what are currently known be populated by fearsome dragons. ‘Tis merely a minor occupational hazard, so bring thy best sword and deal with it.


If thou dost enjoy Ye Olde Tyme News, rememberest to subscribe, sharest it with thine other peasant friends, and followest His Majesty on Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook @yeoldetymenews.