5 Reasons Why Serfdom Ist Thy Calling
(Post Paid for by Count Lemtov the Oppressor of Valissyvosk)
By Part Tyme Fool Mick Cohen-Carroll
Peasants of the world, thou art! Many people hath decried the negative aspects of being bound to a merciless overlord indefinitely and without pay. But tymes hath changed.
Options abound in the variety of modern jobbes amongst rural kingdom folk. But I have a feeling these reaſsons might speaketh to thee. In which case, it is clear, serfdom is thine truest calling!
1. Plenty of Outdoor Tyme
Dost thou enjoy the sunshine? Dost thou savour being surrounded by nature, sleepy meadows, grass, and magickal beasts which may or may not be trying to eat thee? Serfdom provideth all of these. Thou wilt worketh outdoors all the tyme and lyve as humans of low birth were meant to lyve. Literally all the tyme.
Modern doctors agreeith that exercise ist beneficial for thine blood circulation, nearly as good as leeches! That physical activity might be healthy may soundeth hard to believe, but wherefore not? Plus, serfdom ist a great way to work off thine ale and mead belly!
3. Thou Gets to Be Immortalized in Art
Imagine ye children of ye future. They willst read fables and seith tapestries that beauteously depict an anonymous likeness of thee working the fields. Dost thou not wish to be famous? Serfdom ist a gateway to be forever remembered by the descendants of people who can afford books.
4. Community Building
Thou wouldst be honouring thine parents by following in their footsteps. Thou wouldst maketh many coworker friends in ye land by bonding over ergophobia. Dost thou not desire to be a part of a noble tradition that unites villeins from around the world?
5. It Is Ordered By Me, Thy Tyrannical Ruler
If any of those reaſsons nay doth speak to thee, rememberest that this is an order from me, Count Lemtov the Oppressor of Valissyvosk. If thou doth protest or in any way disobeyeth my orders, it is møste treasonous and will be immediate grounds for execution.
Mick ist a scribe of ye magick TV with original pilots as well as sitcom specs, and ist an alumnus of The Second City and the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Thou can find his writing on The Weekly Humorist, Medium, Buzzfeed, Points in Case, Little Old Lady Comedy and mo’e at mickcohen-carroll.com.