4 Ways to Get a Fresh Skeleton for Thy Halloween Decorations Without Spending Big Money at the Bone Merchant
Every lord and lady in the Realm enjoys decorating their castle with spooky skeletons for Halloween. But fresh skeletons be in high demand, and e’erybody knows how miserly bone merchants can be.
‘Tis oft difficult to acquire a fully intact set of bones for a reasonable pryce, but one doth not have to give up all hope! If thou art seeking an authentic skeleton to decorate thy estate with this Halloween, here be some simple and cost-effective ways to acquire one.
While not the cleanest or easiest way to acquire skeletons, bobbing for bones in thy local bog is a free and fun way to find perfectly mummified bodies with which to decorate thy castle. Just be careful, lest thou falls in and ends up as someone else’s décor!
If variety be what thou seeks, then mayhaps grave robbing is the more appropriate means of obtaining a skeleton or cadaver. ‘Tis technically illegal, so just make sure thou robs a peasant’s grave since nobody really cares about them anyway.
Pay a Skeleton Guy to Sit on Thy Porch
‘Tis probably the moste expensive option on the list, but in a pinch there be plenty of reanimated skeleton guys walking around who are willing to sit on thy porch on Halloween for a small fee. ‘Twill offer an added fright to the neighbourhood children when he inevitably drags one of them to the grave!
László’s Discount Bone Emporium*
For nigh on four centuries, László’s Discount Bone Emporium hath offered premium quality skeletons and bone fragments at bargain pryces. If thou truly wants to go all out with thy Halloween decorations, László’s offers everything from dragon skulls to mummified gnome platoons, all within the budget of any well-to-do baron or duke. ‘Tis as their slogan sayeth:
Grave robbing, bog bobbing, oh, what a bore!
László’s Discount Bone Emporium hath bone deals galore!
*Note: Post sponsored by László’s Discount Bone Emporium.